The Age of Fear

As Emily, our oldest, is pretty fearless and always has been, childhood fear is not something that we have alot of experience with. My sister warned me a few years ago that 4 is the "age of fear". As noted, we made it through a 4-yr-old no problem.

Rachel is now 4 1/2. She has definitely entered the age of fear with at least one phobia-grade fear~toilets over-flowing. Wonder what the shrink term for that one is? Anyway, she has never witnessed an overflowing toilet. She has never experienced the aftermath of a toilet overflowing. She is just suddenly terrified (and that is an understatement) that any toilet in her vicinity is going to overflow. She will not go to the bathroom by herself anywhere but at our house, even at church or anywhere else that she has always been comfortable going by herself.

I think I have finally discovered the root of the problem. At the end of softball season both toilets in the girls restroom had issues. We were forewarned and did not enter the offending restroom, but Rachel had to potty and the men's' room was occupied and, well, she experienced the tickle of the weeds for the first time. I think she is afraid of having to have the nature experience again and she is just preoccupied with the threat of it! She stayed with a friend while I went to the dentist last week and had just started whining for me when I drove up. I talked to the mom for a few minutes and Rachel was becoming more agitated by the second and was finally crying to go home. I realized that she needed to potty so I told her to go before we left. At this point she had a complete come apart. I have never heard her cry in this manner before. The problem was, she had gone into the bathroom but another child had put alot of paper in the toilet and Rachel was afraid that it would overflow if she flushed it so she did not go. Rather than tell the adult about the problem she was suffering in silence. I felt so badly for her.

Fast forward to yesterday, when James replaced the flushy-thingy (a very technical and correct term) in the toilet upstairs because it was running. Well, the chain was too long and when you pushed the handle it didn't actually flush; it just started to flush and made a noise that if you were a 4-yr-old who is deathly afraid of toilets overflowing would scare you silly! Poor Rachel! She was up in the middle of the night to potty and we had issues. So James just fixed it and we encouraged her to watch to maybe help take some of the fear out of it. She thought it was pretty cool that daddy can fix things, but she was still a little unsure even with him in the room with her.

Wonder what the boys will be afraid of...